i don't know what will happen if i put this out there

when i was 19 i saw something. that was 11 years ago. there was a certain make of stereo system that had lights on the front display, it was a larger type display. normally the display wouild say things like "play" or "stop". one night it didn't. the display talked to me, it sent me messages and they weren't evil, more unsettling. it new the things to say to nudge me into sorrow and fear. ... lately i've been hearing squeaks, seeing flashes of light. ... for most of my life i've experienced things i cannot explain. i am unable to tell them all here. i almost feel as if i am not allowed. people like to make pose the question, "Do supernatural things happen?" or "Show me a supernatural event and i will believe." i cannot replicate these events. i could be insane. but these are real to me. it is never my desire to impose my reality forcefully on the people around me. my prayer is that my reality is only gently revealed through my existance. i had a question typed out in this space but i am restricted in putting it down. danger will robinson, danger.

Guided by the End Time Voices

i regret being here. No, scratch that, i hate this. I hate needing to be here and needing to have a place to run that is so un abashidly pathetic. i look at the rest of the people in my life and there is this newtonian motion. people traveling up and down, forward and backward, left and right. all based on my perception. i am a judge, we are all judges, well maybe observer is a better word. we are basically stable in our perception of ourselves because it becomes difficult to evaluate reality unless we do the "really" evil thing and look at someone else and guess at what's happening in our own lives. but that's not what this is about. the real thing i wanted to talk about is this newtonian motion. every one around us is moving, through life. so this is how motion works. motion needs, at least, two points in the universe, the one at which is the starting point and, in the short term, at least, an ending point. for motion to be relatable it needs an observer. so the objects observe each other. so lets make one of the objects isolated. not talking about me here, just one of them, any one at random. make all other observers neutral. so there is one object in the universe at starting point. now if the object doesn't move it has achieved some sort of cosmic equalibrian - which is hard to imagine so don't worry about it. so now this object has the outside force of life working on it. basically like all of we do, all of us neutral, partitioned off observers. we watch this life bounce through the cosmic obstacle course that makes it move. we watch it. it rises, it falls, it succeeds, it triumphs, fails, and then it ends. that end isn't necessarily tragic because we'll all do it in time but that's how it happens. but yeah, so all of us observers do our thing - observe. and then we interpret. did the life go well? what were the triumphs? what were the falls? (in a way the life that is being observed also observes itself and where it's been and going and at and all those sort of things but remember, we're not there yet.) so the obesrvers observe and we may have similar and different opinions about what is happening with the other life that has been sanctioned off. allrighty, do you have that life in mind? now turn one more life loose on the same obstacle course. yup, just one. k now repeat the exercise. then double it up. then double it up, then double it up. you only have to work this doubling exercise 33 times to get all of the people on earth on the crazy life obstacle course. it only takes 11 doublings to get all the people in my town. so we're all bouncing around, watching and working the course. sometimes we watch for a bit but we have to move, we are all big bang fodder so we all have to move, newtonian motion requires it of us. so drink it up, we're all stardust in motion watching other stars pass us by. some stars look to me to be getting bright, others fighting, others fading. can't a star let go and not worry about how it looks to others? am i fading or burning? and certainly i must be observed because if i am not observed tghen i have dropped out of the newtonian universe into a place unaffected by the knowable laws of physics. i see patterns in the pages. we are all guided by the end time voices.