Crushing Blow VII: New Drugs

i don't have much time today, i am at the local library writing this and i have already burned my hour down to 21 minutes. i have been researching the new (additional) perscription i am on. it is called topamax, and in contrast to the guess made by G., it is a hardcore anti seisure, anti bi-poalr, anti convulsant, anti PTSD drug. every new step in this adventure points to serious business, just thinking that without my insurance my scrips would run $300 a month, not counting the every 3 week shot i get in my face. it makes me feel for those who don't have the ability to have these drugs on the cheap like i do. what do the poor do when the demons come? gives me better insight to the healing ministry of the One. sick and poor often go hand in hand, wonderfully crafted is the message of sinner's heaven. poor man's heaven, sick man's heaven. where the sinner is saint, the poor are rich and the sick are healed. not in the process but in essence. there is no sorrow heaven can't heal. it's good to have the deep breath of relief that if i must suffer with this, if my weird nerve disorder is truly my gimp, my thorn, my cup, one day i will be healed. and if i dig deep into the constructs of time and how the dichotomy of the One dissects everything, i realize i am healed now. yay though i sorrow, even though i pain i am healed. i am both the dead man and the living man. and if i break the wall and ruin the false perception of the church which keeps its' members in the chokehold, i am already resurrected.

this part is for you mr. john edwards... i may be a sinner in the hand of an angry god but i am also a saint in the hand of a loving god. and they are One, and i am one. at the same time. without error. coexistantly. as much as i am sick then i am healed.

a little verse for the end of a post:

so let us go let us die, let that moonshine in our eye
and the night time be the best thing for us now
let sorrow be our friend, that we worship at the end
if the first shall be the last i'm at the rear