i got soul.

so this is how i am seeing thigns right now, it is morning, i am in debt, i have a tragic addiction, i have limited skills, but i got a whole lot of heart. and if you can't hold on, hold on. there isn't enough volume for my radio right now, i want the songs to blast my memories into the sweet grooves of some watts stax blues. nothing is changing unless something is changing. straws, everywhere i look there are straws.

it's friday, i feel like grabbing something big, i have always been a big dreamer. i am exactly what my mom feared - i am most like my dad. yet i become more like waxen wings everyday, flying higher, diving lower. so at this point i am ready to at least ask for help, i can't dance alone but if i keep stepping on toes i might have to and i know i don't want to. god i just want to give back, i want to give what is in me, the good, the glorious, the beautiful.

how does someone stoke the fire in their soul? H.D.T. said we should cultivate the tree which we have found to bare fruit in our souls. Okay i can buy that - what now? I feel like i am pissing all over my garden and i don't know how to turn the latrene into roses. but it can be, and fuck all i don't need another hedge maze. i need goodness and a bit of fun. so turn that shit up. if i can get one message across it is i know that unless you are at max volume right now then there is space for you to turn it up and you need to. you don't need to go up to 11 but one more notch ain't gonna kill you. so pick a song, something with some thump, then put your fingers on the knob, shut your eyes, and then with the first bump of the kick drum give it another boost. your next orders? jam the fuck out.