You Were Always On My Mind

Before the second part of Act IV i am compelled to break rules and alliterate a little.

G. and i went to the public house last night and we were kings. Men watched and women swooned as we owned our little corner. It only became more so when the other mates showed up. It was a little disappointing to not have Da. there, ahh this is the way of the world... Anyway, the moral of the story is that it is easy. Easy to be loved the first time, easy to win new hearts.

What is difficult is winning the hearts of those who are not new. The common, the heart of the every day. When i got home from the pub i could only think of one thing - how do i win the heart of A. every day. New people are easy, the waitress, F. and Sa., all new, all easy. I have molded myself into someone liked and loved by most people. Simple. Be genuine, maintain eye contact, positive affirmation in the voice, pay attention, ask questions, give people the dignity of being men and women. Sometimes it is a little forced but it is easy to control.

But, like most, i find the hardest ones to love are those who i am close to. those who know me, those who i know. how do i love her well? this is the question. one of the greatest adventures i have chosen to embark on is the life long quest to learn how to love A. i remember praying about 3 years ago, pleading with the One to give me the insight i needed to continue on. then i heard it, the voice, the voice of the One, between the fire and the lightning it spoke 3 words, 3 words to change the rest of my life : Love her well. leave it to the One to say things that are infinite, simple, complex, daring, and daunting in one sentence. i can only imagine how it would have been if the One had spoke in its native tongue to me. i would have been blown to kingdom come from the simple command of Love Her Well.

i freely admit i lose sight of the command, hell, i lose sight of some of the commands i have tattooed on my body - but i always come back to them. there will probably be a blog about slinging ink but the short list of the commands i have : True Until Death. Levantate Conmigo (rise up with me). Eternal Faith, Hope, and Love. These are the commands i have in ink on my skin, the commands written on the tablet of flesh behind my ribs, written by the finger of the One are simple : Love Me, Love Them, Love Her, Love Well.

i look forward to the rest of my days, if only to spend them loving well. i am not nor will i ever be perfect. i am not called to this. i am called to love well. G. and i rapped a little last night about legacy. i don't know what the future holds but it would be forever bad ass if on my urn or inscribed on my tombstone that i was a man who loved well.