i said too much

i've said my, i've said my, i've said my piece. i'm down on my, down on my, down on my knees.

i said about three sentences too much about fifteen minutes ago and it is all i can do to keep from crying right now, it hurts from the top of my right eye brow down the side of my face, tracing my jaw like a violent lace finger. dragging damage as it caresses down under my chin. the pain is so bad i am almost choking. it is tough to remember to be an observer of my own pain rather than a person experiencing the pain. i want to be both, to learn it, to taste it. it is like copper. it tastes green and oxidized. if the statue of liberty had a flavor it would be what was in my mouth right now. give me your tired, hungry, your poor. give me your troubled, your pain, go ahead give me your worst. i believe it will not last forever though i am not sure. time doesn't have a whole lot of meaning right now. i am glad there are other things around me right now. other people make it easier to hide. any good criminal knows the best place to keep up ambiguity is in a crowd and the best way for me to keep from screaming out in utter destruction is the comfort of anonymity. i love to hear them still working, completely unaware of the violence happening within 20 feet. i wouldn't breath a word unless they asked, and even then they would get a truth not resembling this. they would get a gargling glass of salt water, you get the north Atlantic.

it seems to be swimming away a little more. when the pain begins to fade it reminds me of leaving the wave pool or leaving the ocean after a long day of swimming, i still move to the ebb and flow of the residual pain. my equilibrium in harmony with the gruesome song of the deadly waves. i will wade here a little longer in the shallows. i am becoming more of myself again. the tears are receding. the tide going out, i love the Moon.